I just wanted to start out and say that I am absolutely and completely terrified.

It's the night before she says, "I do," and the night before I shoot a solo wedding for the first time. 

I've been privilege enough to have booked weddings for this summer but the nerves still flood into my mind. I know I can do it. I've watched, assisted, and second shot for some of the best but I can not scrape up enough courage to tell myself that I can do this.

For the past 6 months, I've told myself that I wanted to be a wedding photographer someday. Weirdly enough, I love it. I love the way two people want to tell all of their loved ones that they've found the "one." Or the way the bride's parents see their little girl dressed in white. I could go on forever but obviously you have other things to do.

Since I booked the wedding back in March, I spent everyday trying to better myself. Through absolute exhaustion, I did it all:

  1. Prom/Formal
  2. Events
  3. Couples
  4. Engagements
  5. Stock photos
  6. Families
  7. Second shooting

See, when I shoot, I believe my brides deserves the absolute best and the only way to get there is to educate myself and gain experience. I felt as if each one of those fields benefited me in some way (like detail shots, traditionals, large crowds, and etc.) In the end, they really did. The constant practice pushed my limits and creative abilities. For once, I've never been so proud of myself.

I'm going to be honest here. I fought like hell. I did free shoots, undercharged myself, sacrificed my schooling, and dedicated all of my energy and time into getting better. I want to be the best but I'm not willing to sit around and wait. Its the kind of passion that constantly itches at you and makes you want more. I want more and I want to be there for one of the greatest moments in other people's lives.

So with all of this passion, why can't I tell myself that I can? I know I'm able to! Maybe it's just my first case of "pre-wedding jitters."  

Deeps breathes. I just need to take some deep breathes. I can do this. I got this.

Wish me luck!

xoxo, NM

Nicole Mendoza